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Do you struggle with reframing negative self talk? These negative self talk examples are ways we can change the voice we use towards ourselves, to more compassion and understanding.

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Negative Self Talk Examples

When thinking about negative self talk examples related to “if/then” statements, I always find it helpful to play them out.

What’s the worst that can happen? Will it actually happen?

Would I talk to a friend like this?

For example…

If I do x, then I’ll be happy…

If I get all my work done, then I’ll reward myself with girls night out –>  Sometimes we just need the motivation to finish what’s on the docket, you know?

Or,

If I get my long training runs in, then I’ll feel better prepared for my marathon –> 100% true. Being better prepared means sleeping enough before my runs, eating enough homemade running snacks, resting appropriately, etc.

Both of the above statements are true, and not disparaging or negative.

There is smart preparation and there is lack of preparation.

I hope to stay away from the latter and put my marbles into marathon nutrition training.

But, in other contexts, these “if, then” statements can be damaging.

In fact, they sound a lot like toxic diet culture statements and the wellness diet in disguise to me.

• If I lose 5 pounds, then I’ll be happy.
• If I eat that cupcake, then I’ll feel guilty after eating.
• If I don’t exercise, then I can’t eat dessert.

These are all examples of crazy talk. This isn’t reasonable at all!

By saying or thinking these things, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if we eat something, or engage in something, or don’t commit to something.

Reframing Negative Self Talk Examples

If I get that promotion by age 30, then I’ll be happy –> Why can’t we be happy with “right now?”

Where we are right now?

There’s nothing wrong with having goals and being motivated to get that promotion, but why should that dictate happiness?

It’s an accomplishment, sure, but then there will be another promotion to chase. Enjoy the now. 

If I get x amount of likes on this post, then I’ll get more followers –> Ugh. The ups and downs of social media.

The thinking that we have to post this amount of times so people see our posts, or that we have to put up 3 blog posts a week or people will stop reading is irrational.

Your tribe is your tribe. Whoever wants to read and support you, will.

Whoever doesn’t, won’t. 

This applies to way more than just blogging, but moreso, your endeavors in life.

I don’t want to get the wrong point across here.

It’s very important to celebrate accomplishments and achievements – like finishing a marathon and qualifying for the Boston Marathon.

We worked hard for those, we went out of our comfort zone, we reached a goal or milestone, we did something amazing. 

Not all “If, Then’s” need to be tied to negative habits and futile emotional circles.

I think “If, Then” statements can be great for rewarding ourselves (in non-food ways) for work and accomplishments.

They can even be motivating.

Though I stress rewards in non-food ways.

Giving yourself unconditional permission to eat and to have a cupcake if you work out is not a reward. You have that permission any time of the day.

If I buy new running shoes, then my feet won’t hurt as much. This is sensible and probably a safe decision for my running if I’ve been in my old shoes for too long.

But for those that are damaging… 

What if we tried to reframe them, or look at the “if” equations as ways to bring us up, rather than degrade ourselves?

• If I don’t lose 5 pounds, I’m still the same person with the same values. No one will love me any less.
• If I eat that cupcake, I’m going to enjoy it because I really want it. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
• If I don’t exercise, it’s because I didn’t feel like it. Or because my body needed rest. Or because I had a busy day. Or because you don’t need a reason.

Or how about using “If, then” statements to help with anxiety or mood, or boost our confidence.

If I take a bath, then I’ll feel more relaxed.

If I spend the time researching and reading about something, then I’ll feel more comfortable explaining it to someone else.

If I tell someone how I feel, then I will feel less stressed about having it bottled up.

There’s no easy answer and we all are different.

But in no way are these negative self talk example positive for anyone.

Let’s take some pressure off ourselves and make a pact that the next “If, then” statement we say, or think, or do, will be a POSITIVE one.