Hey guys! How are we today? I wanted to touch on some things relating to negative self talk today that I think many of us can relate to, and of course show some yummies!
Speaking of… This pizza lasted like .5 hours.
If I do x, then I’ll be happy…
We’ve all been there and said such things. And after writing this post, I’ve realized that there are certain contexts where these types of sayings may be completely acceptable. Let’s consider these real life situations.
If I get all my work done, then I’ll reward myself with girls night out –> Sometimes we just need motivation to finish what’s on the docket, you know?
If I get my long training runs in, then I’ll feel better prepared for my marathon –> 100% true. There is smart preparation and there is lack of preparation. I hope to stay away from the latter.
But, in other contexts, these “if, then” statements can be damaging.
If I lose 5 pounds, then I’ll be happy.
If I eat that cupcake, then I’ll feel guilty.
If I don’t exercise, then I can’t eat dessert.
You guys, these are all examples of crazy talk.
By saying or thinking these things, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if we eat something, or engage in something, or don’t commit to something.
If I get that promotion by age 30, then I’ll be happy –> Why can’t we be happy with “right now?” Where we are right now? There’s nothing wrong with having goals and being motivated to get that promotion, but why should that dictate happiness? It’s an accomplishment, sure, but then there will be another promotion to chase. Enjoy the now.
If I get x amount of likes on this post, then I’ll get more followers –> Ugh. The ups and downs of social media. The thinking that we have to post this amount of times so people see our posts, or that we have to put up 3 blog posts a week or people will stop reading is irrational. Your tribe is your tribe. Whoever wants to read and support you, will. Whoever doesn’t, won’t.
[Tweet “Your tribe is your tribe. Whoever wants to support you will. Focus on them.. and lots of good eats #wiaw”]
I don’t want to get the wrong point across here. It’s very important to celebrate accomplishments and achievements. We worked hard for those, we went out of our comfort zone, we reached a goal or milestone, we did something amazing.
Not all “If, Then’s” need to be tied to negative habits and futile emotional circles. I think “If, Then” statements can be great for rewarding ourselves (in non-food ways) for work and accomplishments. They can even be motivating. (Though I stress rewards in non-food ways. Giving yourself permission to have a cupcake if you work out is not a reward. You have that permission any time of the day).
If I buy new running shoes, then my feet won’t hurt as much. This is sensible and probably a safe decision for my running if I’ve been in my old shoes for too long.
But for those that are damaging… What if we tried to reframe them, or look at the “if” equations as ways to bring us up, rather than degrade ourselves?
If I don’t lose 5 pounds, I’m still the same person with the same values. No one will love me any less.
If I eat that cupcake, I’m going to enjoy it because I really want it. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
If I don’t exercise, it’s because I didn’t feel like it. Or because my body needed rest. Or because I had a busy day. Or because you don’t need a reason.
[Tweet “Why “If, Then” Statements Can be Damaging to our Health #rdchat via @bucketlisttumRD”]
Or how about using “If, then” statements to help with anxiety or mood, or boost our confidence.
If I take a bath, then I’ll feel more relaxed.
If I spend the time researching and reading about something, then I’ll feel more comfortable explaining it to someone else.
If I tell someone how I feel, then I will feel less stressed about having it bottled up.
There’s no easy answer and we all are different. But in no way is negative self talk positive for anyone. Let’s take some pressure off ourselves and make a pact that the next “If, then” statement we say, or think, or do, will be a POSITIVE one.
Thanks Amanda for letting us think out loud today.
Have you ever said or thought an “If, Then” statement without realizing it? Please share.